Thinking of joining The Mayan Society - who's in?

Warm greetings from Guatemala.  We are still in Antigua, which is still like a film-set, punctuated by colourfully-clad women selling their wares, often with tiny infants in equally colourful slings over their backs.

One of the many highlights of today was being dressed up as an authentic Guatemalan woman, by an internationally renowned Guatemalan woman, who has weaved her way around the world, weaving at international level.  No doubt there will be some photos around somewhere - in fact, I have just retweeted a photo - have a look here and you'll see it.  I felt like a famous person, when everyone whipped out their cameras and I posed.  I think I made quite a good Guatemalan woman - the Converse sneakers really topped off the outfit.  Margaret was dressed too - she was the mother-in-law. 

We learnt about how when a Guatemalan woman becomes pregnant, she spends as much time as possible weaving, as sitting in that position somehow influences the hip bone, making giving birth easier.  The mothers in the group agreed that this was where they had gone wrong - not enough weaving.

Guatemalan women also save on maternity wear buy wearing baggy clothes, which they can grow underneath and not need to worry about it not fitting.  Clever eh?

We were warned earlier, by our trusty tour guide Manuel (who was yesterday reasssured to be informed that we were a group of 'Guides', rather than 'tour guides', which he was a bit scared about), that a cruise ship was due to dock later in the day, and that the town would be awash with tourists, between 700 and 1000 of them.  He wasn't wrong - they were everywhere, with their ID name badges, ridiculous numbers of travel gadgets about their person, purchasing industrial quantities of coffee and pleasing the ubiquitous women selling cloths and men selling wooden flutes.

But Guatemala is (or certainly used to be) one of the poorest countries in the world, based on GDP per person.  Tourism is the lifeblood of the economy here, and it does seem to be geared towards tourists.  There are many co-operatives included on tour itineraries, meaning that tourist dollars are being put into the pockets of local people, not just international conglomerates.  Although there is no shortage of them - MacDonalds, Burger King, Domino's Pizza (complete with delivery bikes) and, most alarmingly, G4S, who are slowly taking over the whole world; globalisation at its most tragic. 

We visited another church today.  The most intriguing thing about this one, was a cross adorned with symbols which related to the crucifixion - a dice because those who crucified Jesus gambled to decide who got which clothes; a crown of thorns; a ladder, used to get Him onto the cross.  This was a very powerful image outside the church.  There was also a motorbike park next to it.  I don't remember that from my theology degree, but I might have missed that lecture.

Catholicism is very strong here.  Yesterday, we watched a youth cross himself as he sped past a church on his bicycle. 

We spent a lot of time at Casa Santo Domingo, which is a 'cultural route created by an agreement between the San Carlos Universidad and the Casa Santo Domingo Hotel'.  In Guatemala, the boys go to Universidad and the girls go to Universimum. 

This was a beautiful complex of gardens, museums and art, old and new.  We visited a little chapel, complete with electric points where the Mayans used to charge their iPhones.  There was a great deal of explanation about some of the artefacts - even a couple of the Mayan gargoyles seemed to be yawning at times. 

In one of the museums - the caption was 'Father God - carved wood and poly-chromed'.  I think I've met her.  Then there was the 'Throne of Grace' - I've met her too.  One of the statues wore a hardhat, which seemed a bit extreme. 

The Region Chief pointed out that some of the male statues were wearing insufficient loincloths. 

I found out yesterday that my sister is going to have a baby boy, so I'm going to be an uncle, which is exciting.  I'm going to suggest she calls it Moctezuma. 

Later we went to a coffee plantation, where we sipped sumptuous coffee, then toured the grounds, learning about the process.  I read about Guatemala's main exports, which I think are mascara, ceramic owls and pastries.  It was in Spanish, so I could be a bit inaccurate. 

We watched a video of Guatemalan music and dancing.  They wear quite sinister masks and perform dancing akin to morris dancing.  One of the masks looked uncannily like Nick Clegg.  Trust no-one. 

I was able to play the glockenspiel, with significantly less skill than the men in the courtyard yesterday, though I was able to bash out a Guatemalan version of 'The Entertainer' as the keys were just like a piano, of which I was quite proud. 

Next, we headed to the Cappuccino Cathedral, where instead of bread and wine at communion, they have cappuccinos and paninis. 

Today, Manuel informed us that the Mayan believe that women are the centre of the universe.  We agree.